Posts

Showing posts from February, 2021
  Family Day 2021 It’s February 15 th today.    A holiday Monday.    Family Day.    What a cruel twist of fate to have Valentines Day and Family Day back to back.   Two holidays that embrace love, connection, family, and togetherness, that also serve to remind those of us who hold no special place in anyone’s heart, just how alone we are. It’s 5pm and I’ve spent the entire day in the recliner, huddled under a comforter,   cat napping.    Since I don’t have a bedroom or a bed,   I sleep in the recliner.    So it’s accurate to say that I haven’t gotten up yet,   other than bathroom breaks and to make a cup of tea    The dogs are content to snooze all day and make no demands of me.    I really do need to get up but I have no desire to do so.    The dogs and cats need supper.   The barn critters need hay.    And I should probably eat.    But all I want to do is lay here and rest.   In an effort not to feel guilty for being lazy, I’m telling myself that perhaps I need thes day of not
  You’re Too Big Picture it ….. me, a dalmatian,   a foxhound,   two cats, and a pot bellied pig …. all sitting in the recliner chair at the same time.   My animals like to lie on my lap and legs when I’m sitting or sleeping in the recliner.    Sometimes it’s okay but other times I just can’t bear the weight of the on my legs.    Sometimes them sitting on me causes me a great deal of pain, and I have to tell them to get off.    And I feel guilty when I do.   Especially at night when I’m sleeping.    The little dogs snuggle with me at night.    They are both chihuahua mixes.    And then there’s Huckleberry, my little beagle.    He’s a small beagle, just 13” at the wither,   but he’s quite a bit heavier than the little ones.   He’s also the ‘baby’ of the dog pack.   And he has that ‘woe is me’ hound dog expression down to a fine art.    He likes to snuggle with me too and many times,   because he is the baby and he’s so darn cute, I let him cuddle with me.    But there are times when I
  Reliving Memories A commercial on TV for the show 911 triggered the memory of the time my dad passed out in his bedroom and I thought he’d died.    He’d fallen down and called to me for help to get up.   As I was helping him to his feet he passed out and slumped to the floor and as he went down the life seemed to drain from him.    I remember him exhaling and appear to have stopped   breathing.     I was screaming   “Wake Up …. DAD … Wake Up!”, and shaking him.    I called 911 and was in a state of total panic.   I don’t know how the operator understood me.   I think I was screaming into the phone as I spoke and was barely able to answer questions because I was so terrified.    I kept going back to Dad and screaming “Wake Up!”     After a few minutes he came to and insisted he was fine and had me cancel the ambulance.     He seemed oblivious to how scared I was or how terrifying the experience was.   He was actually irritated that I’d called 911. I titled this entry “reliving” a