Down In The Dumps

 

I’ve been really struggling the past couple of weeks .   I’m not sure what is happening but I feel like I’m on a downward trajectory.   I haven’t felt so low and weepy in awhile.   I was getting to a place of feeling mostly  ‘okay’,  and now I’m crying almost everyday again.

 

Today I woke up feeling tremendous sadness and I can’t even identify what I’m sad about.  Maybe it’s everything.   I’m tired.  I’m emotionally spent.   And this,  whatever it is,  is interfering with my ability to do things and complete projects.   I’m so fed up with this.   I’m so tired of always struggling to survive.  Of never having enough money and the constant worry about making ends meet and losing my house.   I feel like I’m putting more energy into life than I’m getting out of life.   I feel like I’m getting nothing out of life.   I feel like a fraud again > putting on a happy face to hide what I’m feeling inside.  To hide who I really am.   Tired of acting like I have it together when the truth is I’m falling apart inside.

 

Today is a really sad day.    And in 2hrs I have to pull it together and go out to teach.