Today’s Drama

Sooooo …… today is Thursday.    My mental health day and I can’t connect to OTN for the trauma group.  When I click on “start eVisit” it takes me to a blank page.   I tried re-starting the computer  to see if that would help, but it didn’t.   I downloaded Google Chrome browser but that didn’t remedy the problem either.   Meanwhile the group has started and I’m not there.   I spoke with Sean and he gave me a telephone number for OTN tech support.  I’ve just spent over an hour with two different people trying to figure out why I can’t connect to OTN today.   Conclusion?   “Something” is blocking it from connecting.    So basically no answer or solution.   The fellow did manage to link me in for my private session with Sean,  but wasn’t entirely sure if it would work.   I’ll find out in about ten minutes.

This experience has left me feeling very nervous and stressed.  I have that skittish feeling in the pit of my stomach, and I feel shaky.   And upset.   And I’m feeling a pressure/tightness in my chest.    I’ll have to take a few moments to breathe and get grounded.   I don’t know why I’m finding this so overwhelming and upsetting.  

 

Still Can’t Connect

Well it’s ten minutes past my session start time with Sean ad I still can’t get connected.   {Sigh}   I tried the copy/paste link the tech support fellow gave to me and I’m getting a message that says invalid conference number.  Now I’m feeling a little more than ‘just upset’.   

So I guess this is one of those times when we’re supposed to tap into our emotions to identify what we’re feeling.   I’m feeling annoyed and frustrated.  Inept because I don’t understand what the problem is.  Mind you, the tech support people didn’t know either and they are trained in t his stuff.

I ended up just talking to Sean on the phone for this session.   I feel calmer now.   I’ll have to call the tech support either later today or tomorrow and see if we can sort this out before the next sessions.

And The Day Just Gets Better  (Not)

Synergy died.     Synergy was my 11yr old border collie.   She had not been sick.  She was in good weight and her coat was in good condition and shiny.  She looked the picture of health and beauty.    Late last night and this morning she was displaying symptoms of idiopathic vestibular syndrome.   Slight head tilt,  and a bit wobbly on her feet.  Very mild symptoms.  Nothing to cause alarm if you’ve seen/experienced vestibular syndrome before,  which I have with four other dogs in their senior years.   Normally vestibular events clear up on their own anywhere between 72hrs and a couple of weeks.  The first time I experienced it was with Bess and she was down for two weeks.  She couldn’t get up at all.   The vet at the time said she was not suffering and to wait it out.   After two weeks she got up and walked.   And lived another two years.   The second dog with vestibular was Bess’s daughter Ceilidgh.    Ceilidgh was down for a weekend and was so weak that I was sure she was dying.   So much so that I had decided that if she was no better on the Monday,   I would have her euthanized because she looked so close to death.    But when Monday morning rolled around, Ceilidgh was up walking around as if nothing had happened.   A friend who had seen her on the weekend,  came by the house and said if she hadn’t seen it with her own eyes, she would never have believed it.  Those two were the most extreme cases of vestibular syndrome in my dog family.   Interestingly they were all related & Synergy is related to them too.   The next dog was Dermot.   Dermot was son to Bess’s half sister.  He was about 15yrs of age when it hit him.   He recovered after a few days but was left with a permanent head tilt and slight balance problem.   Then there was Rowdy.   Rowdy was Ceilidgh’s son.   He was I think 14yrs old when he was struck.   He recovered in 72hrs and maintained a very slight head tilt, but otherwise no ill effects.   Some dogs recover with no side effects.   And now it seemed that Synergy had been struck with vestibular syndrome.  Synergy is Ace’s daughter and Ace was Ceilidgh’s son.    At any rate,  her symptoms were mild and not cause for  alarm although I was keeping an eye on them in case they got worse.  I know from experience that there is no treatment.    She came in for her supper this evening,  a little wobbly on her feet but nothing extreme,  and ten minutes later I found her dead.   I have no idea what happened.   Maybe her head tilt and loss of balance wasn’t vestibular?   What would kill her so suddenly?    A brain aneurysm perhaps?    Whatever the case,  my beautiful 11yr old girl is gone.   It was a total shock and now I’m feeling queezy/nauseous.   RIP Synergy   ☹