Out Of Sync

Sometimes I feel emotionally stunted.   My emotional self doesn’t match my chronological age.    I feel out of syn ….. years behind where I should be.   Perhaps this plays into the sense of not belonging that I’ve always felt.

Imagine a circle and everyone is inside the circle and I’m always on the perimeter.   It’s like I don’t quite fit in anywhere.   I’m always on the outside.

 

 

 

Generations

Sometimes I feel like I’m carrying the weight of generations of hurt and trauma.   I think of my mothers family and the disfunction and abuse she and her siblings lived through,  and wonder what trauma her stepmother endured to make her the abuser she was,  and so on down the line.   Generations of abuse passed down through the family tree.    It feels tragic and triggers an overwhelming sadness.  The tragedy of this family has to stop somewhere.    The trauma has to end.