Maslow's Hierarchy Of Needs

I saw this graphic on facebook the other day.   It was in a post talking about how many people (myself included) are beating themselves up for not getting enough done during this pandemic.   With all our time off work and nothing to do, we feel like we should be making the most of all this free time.   Finish projects we haven’t had time to finish.  Learn a new skill.   But for some of us, in fact many of us, that is not reality.   My house is still a mess.   I haven’t renovated my dogs kennel room yet.  I haven’t trained any new skills.   Heck, half the time I don’t even have the energy to write these entries!   The post was saying don't beat yourself up ..... we are here  (the circles on the graphic)

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs states that humans have rudimentary needs.  These are represented at the bottom of the pyramid.   These needs include things like food, water, shelter, sleep, etc.    If these needs are met we are able to move to the next level of the pyramid, which represents safety and security.  And once we feel safe and secure we are capable of moving up to the next level, and so on.   The goal being to achieve self actualization.    What was my last entry?  Oh ya ….. things being just out of reach.   Self actualization …. right now …. out of reach.   The theory with Maslow’s pyramid is that you cannot level up until the needs at the current level have been satisfied.   If those needs remain unfulfilled, a person will get stuck at whatever level they are at until circumstances change.

This got me thinking about my life and why I found it so difficult to achieve goals and to fit into social situations.   Looking at this pyramid I think I’ve been stuck near the bottom of the pyramid at the safe and secure level.   I think I’m still stuck there.  Oh sure, life has deemed it necessary to venture to the next level and dip my foot in the pool of social activities, but I’ve never fully existed there.   I’ve never had a sense of belongingness or love, and true friendships have been difficult to find and few in number.   

Feeling safe and secure isn’t just about being physically safe.   For me it’s about a lot more.   It’s about  feeling safe enough to have your ideas heard without fear of being shot down.   It’s about feeling safe enough to feel like I have a right to an opinion and the belief that I’m entitled to that opinion.  It’s about feeling safe enough to tell my story to someone without fear of judgement.   It’s about feeling safe enough to go outside without fear of being in danger  (stalking fallout).   It’s about feeling safe enough and confident enough in myself, to not worry about people thinking I’m stupid,  or ugly,  or fat,  or old,  or uneducated,  or … or … or ……..

The challenge is how to get unstuck.