Absense of Misbehaviour
In dog training I teach my students that "absence of misbehaviour is a rewardable response". What this means is that we need to 'notice' when our dogs are behaving well (when not under direct cue to do so), and actively reward those moments so as to reinforce good behaviour. Normally when things are going well we humans tend to just ride the wave. When our dogs are not actively misbehaving we just 'take it' but often fail to notice/recognize/reward those good moments.
That got me thinking about anxiety/depression/trauma and the discussion last week at the trauma group about the three levels .... hyper, the middle area of stability, and hypo; and having been asked to take a moment to ponder the various symptoms of each level and where we find ourselves on that ladder. And it occurred to me that just as we often don't "notice" absence of misbehaviour in our dogs, perhaps we are similarly oblivious to the absence of trauma symptoms in ourselves. How often do we "notice" that we are in the window? I'd suggest that the answer is not often. I suspect that we just 'ride the wave' of the calm without really acknowledging the calm. I think in reflection we may notice that we 'were' in the window after the fact (like if we take the time to think back on how our day went), but how often do we catch ourselves 'in the window' and notice it at that moment?
What if we 'noticed' the times (even if it's just seconds or minutes) that we feel okay and calm? What would happen? What if we noticed the absence of anxiety or fear or whatever it is that haunts us, even for a heartbeat? Could this awareness act as reinforcement? Could these moments of awareness give us glimpses to the light at the end of the tunnel?
Maybe noticing the absence of distressful emotions, and their symptoms (such as, not feeling irritable or agitated in that moment ) is a first step to moving forward and overcoming trauma. And in writing this I am aware that in "this moment" I'm feeling the absence of intrusive emotions. I'm in the window.
In dog training I teach my students that "absence of misbehaviour is a rewardable response". What this means is that we need to 'notice' when our dogs are behaving well (when not under direct cue to do so), and actively reward those moments so as to reinforce good behaviour. Normally when things are going well we humans tend to just ride the wave. When our dogs are not actively misbehaving we just 'take it' but often fail to notice/recognize/reward those good moments.
That got me thinking about anxiety/depression/trauma and the discussion last week at the trauma group about the three levels .... hyper, the middle area of stability, and hypo; and having been asked to take a moment to ponder the various symptoms of each level and where we find ourselves on that ladder. And it occurred to me that just as we often don't "notice" absence of misbehaviour in our dogs, perhaps we are similarly oblivious to the absence of trauma symptoms in ourselves. How often do we "notice" that we are in the window? I'd suggest that the answer is not often. I suspect that we just 'ride the wave' of the calm without really acknowledging the calm. I think in reflection we may notice that we 'were' in the window after the fact (like if we take the time to think back on how our day went), but how often do we catch ourselves 'in the window' and notice it at that moment?
What if we 'noticed' the times (even if it's just seconds or minutes) that we feel okay and calm? What would happen? What if we noticed the absence of anxiety or fear or whatever it is that haunts us, even for a heartbeat? Could this awareness act as reinforcement? Could these moments of awareness give us glimpses to the light at the end of the tunnel?
Maybe noticing the absence of distressful emotions, and their symptoms (such as, not feeling irritable or agitated in that moment ) is a first step to moving forward and overcoming trauma. And in writing this I am aware that in "this moment" I'm feeling the absence of intrusive emotions. I'm in the window.
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